oh hey, it's been a while

i guess i've just been watching autumn pass right before my hazel eyes.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/09/arts/music/09lennon.html?_r=1&ref=music

in honor of Mr. Lennon's 70th birthday, here's an article from the New York Times that you should read.

misery.

I don't know what happened. It was perfect, it was good, it was 100% fine, and now it's downhill.
I don't understand what's going on, I don't understand what he's trying to tell me. I don't understand him anymore. I'm losing him.
It's unfair, it's confusing. I feel like I'm always the one being pushed aside and underestimated. No, I'm not the funny one, I'm not the hot one either. But I'm the one, and he knows it.
I guess I just acted selfish. My selfishness complimented his ignorance, I guess. I'm not really sure anymore. I try to put a smile on my face, and it's there, for that 10 minutes. Then it runs away, and he sits in the middle, and I'm on the side. Alone. Taken for granted. Upset.
That made me feel horrible, my heart sank as he moved to my right. It felt like he didn't care.
I cried it all out, but it's still not enough.
It's 10 minutes of bliss to a night of misery.

the drunkeness of romance.

“Romance”



Edgar Allan Poe


1829


Romance, who loves to nod and sing,


With drowsy head and folded wing,


Among the green leaves as they shake


Far down within some shadowy lake,


To me a painted paroquet


Hath been- a most familiar bird-


Taught me my alphabet to say-


To lisp my very earliest word


While in the wild wood I did lie,


A child- with a most knowing eye.






Of late, eternal Condor years


So shake the very Heaven on high


With tumult as they thunder by,


I have no time for idle cares


Through gazing on the unquiet sky.


And when an hour with calmer wings


Its down upon my spirit flings-


That little time with lyre and rhyme


To while away- forbidden things!


My heart would feel to be a crime


Unless it trembled with the strings.


I adore this poem. The overdose of romance is written to stimulating perfection.

it's the first official day of fall, and my favorite weather is acting itself out right now, to say it's a perfect night would be an understatement.

you are the best thing that's ever been mine.

it's true.

i'm starting to feel like i can really handle this. i'm starting to feel like i've finally got a grip on things. according to some, i've always got a grip on things. but i've never really believed it. but now, i feel like my organizational skills have finally paid off, well, sort of. i feel like this is going to be one of my most successful years.
or maybe i'm just in a really good mood because starbucks finally has its pumpkin spice latte's back.
we'll find out.

I can't believe it's been a year since I've seen you.