2011

I haven't blogged in a while. I'm sorrry. the truth is, I've been waiting for this. I wanted to make sure that I knew exactly what I wanted to say. and maybe I still don't know what to say. but I know that one day I'll know how to end the year, I'll know what to say, I'll know who the care about, I'll know who cares about me, and I'll know where my life is going. so, today, the last day of the year, I don't know anything. but that's okay. imperfection is beauty, and not knowing always leads into the answer when you least expect it. sometimes we don't even realize it. at midnight, I'll remember the times I was lost, and know that soon, they'll be times that I know I was actually, found.

I never thought I'd feel so used. I thought he was something that he's not. I guess I just closed my eyes for too long and somewhere along the line, I lost him.

"some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I'm thankful that thorns have roses."

I may not like the food of Thanksgiving, and I've found that people take Thanksgiving itself for granted. We should be thankful everyday of the year, not just one day of the year.
I'm not thankful for all of the smiles in the world, I'm thankful for all of the tears, that make me want to smile.
I'm not thankful for all of the happiness in the world, I'm thankful for all of the pain that makes me want to create happiness.
I'm not thankful for all of the love in the world, I'm thankful for all of the heartbreak that makes me want to give love.
and I'm not thankful for all of the people in my life, I'm thankful for the life that gives me these people.

oh hey, it's been a while

i guess i've just been watching autumn pass right before my hazel eyes.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/09/arts/music/09lennon.html?_r=1&ref=music

in honor of Mr. Lennon's 70th birthday, here's an article from the New York Times that you should read.

misery.

I don't know what happened. It was perfect, it was good, it was 100% fine, and now it's downhill.
I don't understand what's going on, I don't understand what he's trying to tell me. I don't understand him anymore. I'm losing him.
It's unfair, it's confusing. I feel like I'm always the one being pushed aside and underestimated. No, I'm not the funny one, I'm not the hot one either. But I'm the one, and he knows it.
I guess I just acted selfish. My selfishness complimented his ignorance, I guess. I'm not really sure anymore. I try to put a smile on my face, and it's there, for that 10 minutes. Then it runs away, and he sits in the middle, and I'm on the side. Alone. Taken for granted. Upset.
That made me feel horrible, my heart sank as he moved to my right. It felt like he didn't care.
I cried it all out, but it's still not enough.
It's 10 minutes of bliss to a night of misery.

the drunkeness of romance.

“Romance”



Edgar Allan Poe


1829


Romance, who loves to nod and sing,


With drowsy head and folded wing,


Among the green leaves as they shake


Far down within some shadowy lake,


To me a painted paroquet


Hath been- a most familiar bird-


Taught me my alphabet to say-


To lisp my very earliest word


While in the wild wood I did lie,


A child- with a most knowing eye.






Of late, eternal Condor years


So shake the very Heaven on high


With tumult as they thunder by,


I have no time for idle cares


Through gazing on the unquiet sky.


And when an hour with calmer wings


Its down upon my spirit flings-


That little time with lyre and rhyme


To while away- forbidden things!


My heart would feel to be a crime


Unless it trembled with the strings.


I adore this poem. The overdose of romance is written to stimulating perfection.

it's the first official day of fall, and my favorite weather is acting itself out right now, to say it's a perfect night would be an understatement.

you are the best thing that's ever been mine.

it's true.

i'm starting to feel like i can really handle this. i'm starting to feel like i've finally got a grip on things. according to some, i've always got a grip on things. but i've never really believed it. but now, i feel like my organizational skills have finally paid off, well, sort of. i feel like this is going to be one of my most successful years.
or maybe i'm just in a really good mood because starbucks finally has its pumpkin spice latte's back.
we'll find out.

I can't believe it's been a year since I've seen you.

it's love at first sight.

autumn, you are mine.

September 1st may be my absolute favorite day of the year.
I don't care that technically, it's still "summer."
September 1st is the unofficial begining of fall, for me, and please, let it be known that fall is the most beautiful season of all.
the colors, the warmth, the smell of crisp leaves, pumpkin spices, cranberry apples, I adore it all.
so cheers to fall. cheers.

and if you strip me, strip it all the way.

i may not be logical. he tells me that all the time.
but i can still function.
i can still think.
and if it wasn't for me, a lot of things would never happen.
it seems as though so much dependance is put on me.
logical thinking has nothing to do with it.
he thinks i'm scared. but I'm not.
i just like knowing that i tried to make things go right when no one else bothered.
he just doesn't understand that.
i guess it's because i feel like if i plan something, then i can never get disappointed, because i knew what to expect...

Today's Post, Aug. 25: Police shut down house of prostitution in North Massapequa

Today's Post, Aug. 25: Police shut down house of prostitution in North Massapequa

here it is. my newest article.

Florence & The Machine. Good stuff.

every guy, one thought.

basically my view on relationships.

good wine needs no bush

good people are like good wine.
something i realized two nights ago, is that these people make you feel at ease, they give you comfort, they give you enjoyment, and take all the empty spaces in your life, and give them meaning.
meaning filled with love.
i can't thank them enough for that.
so, cheers.

Browsing through Google (don't we all do that at some low point in our lives?) I found this.
It's cool, isn't it?
Or do people not use the word "cool" anymore?
I'll say "unique" instead.
I came to the conclusion that maybe the photographer meant to convey a thought about how women gossip. It appears her mouth is shut when really-she's stretching it out just a tiny bit. Don't we all, as women, do that?
Keep our mouths shut and open with secrets simultaneously.
Indeed, we do.

I WANT  A JAPA MALA SO BADLY.
I know that's not journalistic in the least.
But it's the only vivid thought that's passing through my mind right now.
Really.

let yourself go.

with a day-dreamed far-off look, and her nose, stuck in a book...

it's been 27 days.
and 2,215 pages later, i've never felt so satisfied with my reading-life.

challenge: 6 novels in July
status: mission accomplished

challenge: finish eat, pray, love in 12 days
status: wish me luck

seems like america may just have a big mouth

maybe those new spy outfits should just hit the trash can--scroll down a few inches--see the post about america being a new secret agent?
i've got an update on that.
*note: it's not valid yet, i was just watching The View like i do every morning, and they started talking about this
just when i thought that The Washington Post was onto something, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Sherri Shepherd, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck proved the Post somewhat wrong.
WikiLeaks is an organizational website that exposes formerly secret documents online in what its members speak of as transparancy and accountability, according to voiceofamericanews.com. Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks stands by his belief in the fact that evidence of war crimes and other such matters have been "leaked" on his establishment.
*note: click on the title-i've got all the extra info that you need in the link
on The View, the four women all expressed their concerns that this website was exploiting too much information regarding what the armed forces do, collectively--meaning, their plans, their strategics, their 'secrets', and apparently, war crimes that were never reported for credibility purposes, i suppose.
so, is the Post's investigation really valid then? i thought we were too safe? according to what i've stumbled upon this morning, we're not too safe at all because, on the contrary, we've been 'leaking' personal information for all of the Taliban to see.
whose side of the story is the truth?
that's my new project.
i'm gonna find out.

versatility in 4 minutes and 27 seconds.

haley williams, lead singer of the band Paramore, continues to bring something new to the table with every song i hear from her-an edge, a balad, a rap...but it's more than that. her tone of voice sounds different every time i listen to it.
Paramore is back for a third album, and Brand New Eyes is to date their highest ranking album released.
'The Only Exception' isn't just a song-it's like an anthem for any person who ever thought that love just wasn't for them, a person who blends their fondness of isolation with a sporatic space for a 'significant other' as you may call it. williams combines her rocker attitude with such a solemn sound in her vocals while exposing her expertise in delineating such versatility.
click on the title and listen.

yes, my friends, Facebook is getting its own movie...

....but I think there's more to it than that. The networking aspect of the film, so it seems, incorporates how one website has morphed our lives into a contstant "screen"-if you will-of images; images that update themselves as our lives progress. All you Facebookers out there, you just gotta check out this trailer. Who knew that one day, screenwriters and film makers would find substantiality behind our internet stalking?

america is the new secret agent man?

I rumaged through the Washington Post today-online, of course-and I stumbled upon this video called "Top Secret America: A Washington Post Investigation"
Being the 'James Bond' that I am, I clicked on it.
I watched it.
I learned a lot.
I had no idea that since 9/11, the secret government agencies that America has created were so ...what's the word I'm looking for here....immense. This has been a two year investigation done by the Post, and from what I've read, they haven't found anything to prove its success. In total, these complexes take up 17 million square feet in Washington and the surrounding area; roughly 854,000 people are believed to hold top-secret security clearances, and an estimated 10,000 locations of these agencies are scattered throughout the United States.
"After nine years of unprecendented spending and growth, the result is that the system put in place to keep the United States safe is so massive that its effectiveness is impossible to determine," according to the Washingston Post.
I'll let the link do the rest of the talking. Click on the title and watch the Post's video. It's no secret anymore.

i'm a working girl now?

coffee in hand-cafe mocha to be exact-iMac turned on, work cubicle set up, and a notepad ready to go...i guess you could say this internship for ACJ Publications makes me feel like i'm actually getting somewhere everytime i dial someone's phone number and say "hi, this is jenna from the massapequa post, i'm writing a piece on...."
*note: i work for the amityville record and the babylon beacon as well.
this is just the first step in my future career, so from now on, why don't i document it.
name: jenna
date: july 14th
age: 16
occupation: student/intern for ACJ Publications
status: journalist in the making.

there's something about a thunder storm

the sound of the rain and the thunder, accompanied by the flash of the lightening, always lead me to think.
so as the dark clouds begin to drape over new york, why don't we all just sit in a quiet corner, and think.

Proof that you should dip your toes in before you dive.

I've never been the type to just jump.
I'm worried I might fall.
I dip my toes in.
Check the feeling.
Get used to the temperature.
Just in case.
Shouldn't we all?
Maybe yes.
Maybe no.
It's instinctual for me.
I can't just dive, I need to swim first.
Click on the title and check out this new song from V V Brown. You'll see what I'm talking about.

new yorker returns to her island; and takes back the time she thought she may have lost.

the new yorker has landed. the jet-lag has wore off. the suitcases have been unpacked. the time in italy is now time spent. 

as the plane made its way back, Dear John played on the screens and Savannah began to reflect on her life and its circumstances-and it hit me. everyone forgets about the one thing that really gets the world spinning. everyone forgets about the one thing that can go by so fast. they gain it. they lose track of it. they control it. it's the one thing that can fly by. it's the one thing that can stop a moment.

time.
time is given to us; it's so easily taken from us; we can make of it whatever we want; and we can waste it any way we please.
 italia didn't just open up my mouth and fill it with gelato; it didn't just open up my eyes and show them ancient ruins. it gave me a sense of time; as the new york minute passes me everyday, the words in which i type continue as the clock ticks; if you think about it, i'm using up my time right now, aren't i?
if there's one thing my uncle taught me, it's that you have to use your time, and make it yours.
the time you're given is the time that you need to spend living.

as i resided on the Italian peninsula the last 12 days, the time I spent there was time i'll always cherish, remember, and reflect on. that time may be lost for me now, but to gain it, i'll simply return to the moment-wheter it be by looking at pictures, telling a story, picturing it a moment in my mind, or hopping on a plane and going back. 

rather, it'll be freezing a moment in time, and replaying it over and over again-like a reel of film, only I get to choose the scene.
i'll return to italia, i'll return to the memories i made, my uncles "tuscan paradise" and the hills of the land where i discovered beauty, and myself.
i'll make the time.

so why don't we all make a little summer resolution; take your time, freeze it, gain it, lose it, waste it, talk about it, record it, run with it, remember it, make it.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do

that's what I'll be doing the next two weeks in Italia.
Ciao bella New York...

Didn't our paren'ts always tell us not to play with fire?

even though I can't say that I've actually made a dent in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I can tell you that it's sequel, The Girl Who Played with Fire comes off as an extremely enticing eye candy.
Swedish author, Stieg Larsson, brings the "Girl", Lisbeth Salandar back to the pages and the big screen alongside hacker and investigative journalist Mikael Blomkvist
Needless to say to all you readers out there,Blomkvist is my new aspiration.
It's title in Swedish? "Flickan som lekte med elden"

new yorker leaves her island for her peninsula

As I more than willingly prepare for my debut escapade out of the country with 50 stars and 13 stripes, I come to realize that this island I've been living on is really just a speck on a map. Where am jet setting off to?
Italy.
Four days left till my flight leaves.
Three days left for me to get my camera at its finest.
*note: pictures will be blogged
Twelve days of doing what the Romans do.

lend an ear, throw in some peace; cryptic messages, anyone?

  Composed primarily by John Lennon, and credited under Lennon/McCartney, "Come Together" is the opening track of the 1969 album, Abbey Road. It stood at a solid fourth ranking in England's charts, and rose to the top of the charts in the United States.

  Timothy Leary's failed gubernatorial campaign for governor of California is believed to be Lennon's inspiration for the song. The campaign, titled "Let's Get it Together," ended when Leary was sent to prison.

  Speculation has risen as to whether or not each verse cryptically refers to the band members individually; 'he's one holly roller,' to the supposedly spiritual Harrison, 'he got monkey finger, he shoot Coca-Cola,' to the "funny" Ringo, 'he got Ono sideboard, he's one spinal cracker,' to Lennon, and lastly, 'got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see,' to Paul, respectively.

   Aerosmith cover of the song, anyone?

   Yeah, I didn't know about it either.